Welcome To Junking

happy birthday homeboy. i’ll sip on some sizzurp for you!

The Letter.

Tuesday, December, 2st, 2009

timirose:

Today I am writing you my final letter. If you are reading this, it would be the 365th letter I have written since you departed from me exactly one year ago. You haven’t responded to any of my previous letters and, I have to think, that it means it was simply a summer fling. I’m still waiting for you. I want you to know. But I feel it’d be in both of our best interests for me to stop writing.

I have to think that the two of us being together would hold beautiful things. I believe it was meant for us and that, without each other, we are living mediocre lives. Remember when we first met? Remember how we were two birds in the ocean? We could have flown away together, you know. Or lived together in the house I’m building for the both of us. Nothing is in the past to me. Love knows no past tense. You either never loved or never stopped. And I, never stopped.

The night we left each other, I heard your parents speaking about how we didn’t know love - how we were too young. But, what we had, was love. I can promise you that. No one in the world will ever be able to experience what we had. What we have. They will love, but not as whole-heartedly and selflessly. They won’t feel the stinging pain that occurs for every second you are apart from one another.

I am truly sorry for whatever it was that I have done to drive you away. I am sorry if it seemed I didn’t love you enough, but I can assure you that I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything. I loved so much it hurt. Thank you for laying in the street with me, thank you for being a bird, thank you for loving me as much as I loved you, thank you for teaching me about life and love and companionship. I want you to know that I am grateful for the person you are and the person you shaped me to be. In everything I do, I will think of you. And I hope you’re thinking of me too. Smile at what we had and smile at who you are. Live everyday to its fullest and be genuinely happy. That is what I wish for you. Happiness.

I harbour no resentment towards you. I only have love and I wish the best things in the world for you. At the same time, I selfishly wish things could have ended on a different note. I am not bitter, nor am I angry. I find no fault in the decision you made because I can only see beautiful things when I look at you and only think beautiful thoughts about you and for you. Why? Because you are beautiful.

(via The Notebook … Noah’s letter to Allison) <3

before i self destruct.

this is for aidil shah.

Vindicated

one day i’ll put the gun to my head like cobain did
and end it all for good cause i can’t give a shit

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PLEASE DOUBLE CUP ME
AND EVERYBODY PLEASE PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME

― Lil Wayne

Music Is About Bringing All People Together, Music Has No F*cking Religion, No F*cking Color, No F*cking Genre, It Has No Politics, It Has No Money, It’s F*cking Free

― Lady Gaga

Vote for me for Best Urban Act, Junksounds 2009

Best Urban Act (Solo/Group)

By Best Urban Act we don’t mean the most urbane, but the freshest, slickest R&B- and hip hop-infused sounds to come out from da streets (see what we did there?). The Devastator of all supergroups and the only candidate representing South East Asia, Project EAR, will hope to seek, smash and destroy all before them.

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.

― Bob Marley (via destructive)

if i felt like this every fucking day, then i’ll feel so fucking cool every fucking day.

Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I’m afraid that they’re going to leave.

― Marilyn Manson (via destructive)

She can go.

Hello world

Sunday, November, 7th, 2009

i guess it’s been awhile. life’s pretty much the same that i’m getting used to feeling this way. losing focus, losing interest on pretty much everything, so i guess that explains the barren spell. thailand trip did a little good in keeping my mind away from things. but holidays are temporary, that sinking feeling returns once the flight touches destination home. back to school with the schedule packed with class tests, presentations and what nots which makes the smoking breaks in between lessons sweeter than ever. weekends too have been different, but i’m thankful for the people that are still around to spend saturday nights although we’re at the same place every single week. rihanna has been pretty much the chick of the moment for me. and beating up drunk chinese kids seem to be new added motive to life. sizzurp, nicotine and mary jane i love you.

yeah i guess for the first time in weeks we’ve missed having a sheesha session on a saturday, this is for you.

amry daze II

Wednesday, October, 3th, 2009

so it seems NS is taking away yet another person away from me. well yeah not literally, but emotionally. damn you National Service! but this post isn’t political, just a bro-mance kinda thing. this post is something you’ll most likely find in naufal’s girlfriend blog and definately might contain strong homosexual tendencies.

Dear Naufal Gani,

it seems like just yesterday was 2001, we were classmates. the phrase ‘i’ve watched you grow’ finally seems to fit for this occasion. from the days we were rocking baggy shorts with no legs hair, to the days my legs all hairy and yours still premature. but it has been 8 years, with or without proper leg hair growth.

throughout the 8 years, i’ve never felt deeply attached to you than the past one year. break up was a bitch, but definitely a slightly easier process having someone like you telling me the rights and wrongs, what to do and what not to. i remember the days when i was drunk and you gave me a place to sleep, although you do like to take advantage of my arse with the tip of your guitar (oooohhhh naufal, harder, harder). i remember the call i made to you when i felt like crying over some relationship issues.

then there’s therapy. you deserve the biggest ‘THANK YOU’ for that album. due to its failed purpose i might have said it’s a piece of shit, but production wise never did i doubt its credibility. the cigarettes, the whats keeping u down, the isabella. another nvmbr chld shit, another class-hit. and if i miraculously win the award for best urban act, it goes to you and nvmbr chld. and in my acceptance speech i’ll interrupt it with ‘imma let myself finish, but young has one of the best local albums of all time. ALL TIME!’

then there was this entire new phase which i went through, and you were still there hearing me whining and groaning about stuff. i still remember the day after 16bars where your hug and the lending the shoulder did ease the pain a little.

it’ll be weird without the ‘katne?’, ‘nak lepak?’ texts anymore. it’ll be weird without the 3am smoke sessions anymore. it’ll be weird without the ‘lepak at pondok for 6 hours’ anymore. it’ll be weird without you calling me a snitch anymore. it’ll be weird without you online anymore. and if i have a show, it’ll be weird without you there anymore. it’ll be weird without hanging around at your place to record or just use the net anymore. yeah it’s all temporary, but it’ll still be weird because in a way every chillout session was another therapy for me. but yeah you know you could call me everyday except for 27-30 Phuket trip! and you know i always got your back my brother.

i’ll end this off with a big thank you for everything. i’ll miss you and as homo as this might sound i love you too just like mai. take care my producer, lepak partner, blaze-r?, friend and most of all brother from another mother.

sincerely for the girls,
nur muhammad